Finding the Belief that holds you back

There are a number of ideas for playing around with Beliefs in the free ebook available from this website, sometimes though we don’t know what the Belief is that is holding us back…….

Now, another way to look at Beliefs is to look at an area of life where we are not taking the actions we would like to take, or feeling the way we’d like to feel in certain situations, and check in with ourselves and see what Belief might be holding us back.

For example, let’s say I didn’t like talking to Strangers, but I don’t know what the exact belief is holding me back. What I can do to find out the belief that is likely to be holding me back is to ask myself this question:

In order to feel like this or act like this in this situation what must I believe about myself, about others and the world in general?

You’ll be surprised how new ideas and thoughts can spring to mind when you ask better questions of yourself……too often we say “Why can’t I do this?” and answer ourselves in a way that is not very helpful….

So apply this method to anything you want to work on, or what would be even better is to notice over the next little while any bad emotions you get or feelings, or anything you hold back from doing and simply say to yourself:

“In order to feel like this or act like this in this situation what must I believe about myself, about others and the world in general?”

One of the things I’d really like you to do is become more aware of when fears come up or negative emotions, perhaps it’s even when you get annoyed if something is not going your way. Notice these times and ask yourself the above question.

Often we are all too familiar with our day to day emotions that although we feel them, we just accept them, they have always been there. If we take time to notice them and pay attention to them, and ask ourselves the above question, then we become more aware of how we work. Once you know how something works it is so much easier to improve it.

Mark Rhodes

What I learnt at School (yesterday)

So, yesterday I did my talk to about 270 pupils at a Secondary school in London. They had all gone into what was called the 6th form in my day, it’s all different now….mmmm….sound like my parents yet again.

Anyway in the main my plan worked really well to keep the examples used in the talk to things that they would be interested in so things like relationships, dating, Nintendo DS and Playstations etc……even opened the talk telling them about when I spoke for Ann Summers earlier in the year.

Now the thing is it worked too well at times, because when speaking at schools there is a fine balance in speaking about things that interest them, but will not distract them into lots of whispers and giggling because of something that has been said.

They did brilliantly though, I must say, a real credit, at 16 or 17 if I’d been sent to sit in a hall for an hour and listen to someone talk about anything I’d have been thinking “What’s the point?”.

However I know some of them took the messages on board and hopefully over the coming days and weeks others will too as they encounter things in daily life that remind them of my talk.

As I said to them at the start, you’ve not got to learn anything from me, I’m not going to tell you things you need to learn, I am going to tell you what you need to forget and unlearn.

You see we are all born without limiting beliefs and comfort zone issues, and we all live in the moment in our early years, no fear of failure or what others may think. We learn bad ideas and bad habits, and bad ways of thinking from those around us.

That’s why I always say to my audiences that a 3 year old could do my job, and would be better at it than me! They live for the moment, in the moment and are curious about everything.

I really do wish someone had shared such messages with me at school in the 6th form, although I do wonder even if they had would I have noticed?

Mark Rhodes

Free Online Success Seminar is a huge Success!

Wow, that’s all I can say. I ran my first ever online seminar on Thursday 10th September. Technology is amazing I was able to spend one hour presenting live to hundreds around the world in 20 countries.

Thank you to all those that attended, details of the next one about recession success further down but first here are just a few of the comments that came in within hours of the seminar finishing:

“I really enjoyed your seminar. Thanks for inviting me, and thanks for offering it. We all need to know and remember it. You are a living proof that your methods work. It was value from start to finish.

It is phenomenal technology that I could sit in my home in South Africa in a very small village far away from everything, where it is unsafe to go out at night, and I could hear you clearly from the UK! Now we need some Webinar concerts!” R.S.

“Thanks for your inspiring and insightful talk on Thursday. I enjoyed it very much.” E.

“Mark is a kind, friendly, down to earth, highly trusthworthy person.
I listened to your seminar and I found it superb. All those treated concepts were known to me and with your explanations, I truly apprehended them. I enjoyed it heartily. I look forward for the next webseminar.” M.C.

“I only managed to catch the last 15 minutes of the Webinar. I was very upset that I missed most of it, but the little I saw had me totally glued to my screen.” P.H.

“I would like to thank you for a very thought provoking seminar last night. The thing that hit me the most was, whenever I want to do something I see it done, and then do it. But, other times it does not work and only when you said “willpower” did it make sense to me. The times I did not get whatever right was when I was doing it with willpower and forgetting the visualization.” S.D.

“Simply Brilliant – Thanks for your valuable insight and guidance during the last hour.

I’m smiling and laughing as I type this – can I do it? I have requested your free eBook to overcome the icant virus! – look forward to reading and applying it. “L.B.

“Just wanted to congratulate you on a brilliant webinar.” G.T.

This was a FREE seminar with huge value relating to building a success mindset and being more successful.

I discussed how change occurs and why so often people give up too easily and went on to explain how we should think about the change process and our attempts at change in order to stay with it and make the change.

We also looked at Values, what are our life values, how can we discover and understand them.

There is another free seminar coming up on Thursday 1st October – this time the subject is the mindset needed for “Success in a Recession” how we can maximize our success in current times and avoid the mistakes most people are making right now.

This topic is my most requested topic by companies and networking organisations when I speak at their events.

Booking for this next FREE online seminar opens on Tuesday 15th September so check back at the site then, it will be centre stage of the home page of this site.

Mark Rhodes.

More Success In a Recession

In these current times of Uncertainty many people start to take on a form of panic or desperation and these are both negative energies and they also come across to the customers and prospects we are communicating with and they in turn end up being affected by this negative energy and are far less likely to think in a favourable way about anything you are proposing. So what is the answer?

I’m going to give you just two words now, and they are magic words:

Enthusiasm
Expectation

These are two of the most powerful words in a Success Mindset. If you want your prospects or clients to be enthusiastic you’ve got to be enthusiastic first! It is one of the most contagious emotions, the trouble is a lot of people don’t have enthusiasm they have desperation.

Desperation is a negative emotion and does more harm than good – other people detect it and it turns them off. You need to be sure you are enthusiastic at all times.

Two ways of being enthusiastic are to make sure you are passionate about and love what you do! So often I meet top sales people who tell me they were never any good at sales…..until they “came across this product that they love so much”!

The other the “Expectation” of a good outcome is as important and the two together are amazing.

The real difference between the sales people going in getting most of the deals as opposed to the ones getting poor conversion rates is usually down to expectation of outcome and lack of genuine enthusiasm, as quite often they have had the same type of “how to” process training but simply don’t get the same outcomes. There is a difference that makes the difference!

You’ve got to see yourself going into situations and having it all going the best it could do, that way you will perform better and be more natural and with the passion for your product or service you will be weaving a magical mix of enthusiasm and expectation!

So ask yourself – What would I need to change or would I need to be doing in order to be totally enthusiastic about my offerings and have a total expectation of a good outcome?

True, things won’t always turn out totally as you desire, but that uncertainty is all part of the game. What is the point of playing a game if you never stood the chance of not winning?….it would get boring….but the expectation of winning will mean that you will win far more than with an expectation of not winning.

You see successful people don’t get successful by getting it right all the time, they get successful by getting it wrong, doing it again or using a different approach.

Mark Rhodes.

What will people think of me?

“Limiting Beliefs” are beliefs we have about ourselves, other people or the world in general that dictate how we approach things.

For most of us in addition to our Limiting Beliefs we also have one of them that dominates our thoughts, not usually in the form of the belief but more in the form of what the belief means to our lifes.

You need to uncover your dominant thought, you’ll probably realise it before the end of this article, or you’ll notice it in the next day or two.

It’s the thought that occurs most of the time, most often in the form of a question we keep asking ourselves over and over, trying to get an answer or some internal assurance that everything will be OK.

If you’ve not yet realised what yours is, here are some of the ones my clients have shared with me over the years:

When will I have enough money?
How am I going to meet all the bills this month?
What will they think?
What will people think of me?
Am I going to be ok?
What else is going to go wrong?

and so many others.

What we need to understand firstly is what is our dominant thought? Once we know that we need to ask ourselves what the Belief is behind that, quite simply by asking ourselves:

“What must I believe in order to keep thinking this?”

Ideas will come up and one will feel more true than the others.

For example a client who recently had the dominant thought of “What will people think of me?” realised they must believe they are not good enough. This in turn obviously leads us to the realisation that it’s not really about what other people think, but this statement comes to mind because we ourselves are afraid we might not be good enough.

Once you get to what you believe or “must believe” in order to have that thought you need to realise firstly it is not reality it is just a belief or way of thinking.

The next step is to start to breakdown this belief and that can be done in many ways two of which are:

(1) Make a list of all the reasons why this belief is not true, write down all the arguments, reasons and evidence in your life that actually disprove the belief.  So often our beliefs are generalised statements that get out of hand over time and affect what we notice in the world.
(2) Another way is to use the “I can’t Virus” questions from the free eBook available on this site here

Once we have started to break down the belief come up with a new dominating thought that aknowledges the old one but is an empowering thought that you can start to think of instead, one that points you in the right direction.

You need the persistance and discipline that everytime you notice the old thought coming up you say the new one 5 times or more.

Mark Rhodes