A lot of us have uncomfortable feelings around those situations but we know that if we could master those situations, if we could think about how great our lives would be, and list out all the positive things how great our lives would be if we were to do that one thing.

Then list out all the negative things if we were never able to do that, what it would mean to our lives.

For instance, on the positive list, list all the great things, let’s say my problem was I didn’t want to go and approach strangers at a networking event.

Now, I could list out all the positives to going and talking to strangers at a networking event and what that could possibly mean to my life:

I could grow a bigger business

I’d be able to give the family a more secure future

I’d be able to do things for the children, take them on holiday

Put them in the School I want, the education system that I wanted to put them in…

Anything, anything that really, really gets you inspired even if its things like you’d be able to:

Buy a sports car

I’d be able to go round the World

I’d be able to go on fantastic holidays

Whatever it is, list all the positives that would exist in your life if you could do that one thing, if you got over that one thing.

Then list the negatives to your life if you never get over that one thing for example:

I’d never feel I’d reached my true potential in life

I won’t be able to give the kids the best I could possibly give them.

You see if you can come up with enough emotional blackmail on yourself, either the negatives of not doing it or the positives of doing it, and if you can come up with what you need that becomes more important than that feeling of going across the room and talking to somebody, if you can put more worth on what that would mean to your life and got over the “failure”, which is really the potential of an unplanned outcome, then you will cross that line, and you will expand your Comfort Zone.

It’s not about getting outside your Comfort Zone, it’s about expanding your Comfort Zone, taking those steps to expand your Comfort Zone and make it bigger.

So, get that emotional blackmail listed out and if you sit down, spend a few minutes reading the list of all the positive things if you actually did this, see how that makes you feel, does that inspire you?

If not, find some others, take a ten minute break, then make a list of all the negatives things that would happen in your life if you never mastered this, if you never did this such as:

I won’t realise my full potential

I won’t be able to do the best for my family

All those sorts of things list those down; read that list, does that inspire you more?

If one of the lists inspires you more than the other then throw the one that doesn’t inspire you as much away and focus on the one that really inspires you.

Think about that list that inspires you, think about it, and when you think about that and you’re motivated towards that, imagine yourself going across that room and speaking to that person, or whatever your one thing is and imagine that you are doing it with enthusiasm.

We have to imagine things in our minds whether we realise it or not before we do them.

It has to exist in the mind before it exists in your reality.

If you show your mind nervousness and hesitation, it won’t want to take your body there.

So, see these things going as best as they could.

Do the above exercise every day as often as you can think about that one thing whatever it is for you that would move you to the next level.

See yourself doing it with enthusiasm and expectation of a good outcome!

If you feel yourself held back from doing things you say you “Can’t” then download the free ebook on changing how you feel about things you say you can’t do you can download your copy here

To get started ask yourself what is it you want? What is your ultimate Goal or aim in life?

Now for most people they will sell themselves short and pick an easier Goal because their limiting beliefs prevent them even considering the Goal They really would like to achieve.

So, back to your Goal then, ask yourself this:

“If I could do or be anything in life without risk of failure, regardless of qualifications and experience to date – what would I be or what would I do?”

Here we are trying to find that ultimate Goal, the one you probably stopped considering some time ago.

Once you have that then let us see what the Ultimate Goal is behind that – ask yourself about the Dream Goal you have come up with:

“What would that do for me?”

The answers that come up here are more what you really want and are looking for, and you may find there are other ways in addition to the Dream Goal of achieving them.

For example a lot of people would say “My dream goal is to be a millionaire” – the goal is the money. However, is that what they are really looking for or is the money a means to an end?

When we ask that person “and what would that do for you?” quite typically they will start to list off things like:

Peace of Mind

Security

Contentment

Happiness

and many others, what you can realise though is that these things can be obtained and are achieved by others regardless of achieving that Dream Goal.

Does this mean we should not go for our Dream Goal? Not at all, it means let us make sure we know what our Goal is really so we can focus on that whilst working with other Goals along the way. It may be we realise an even better Dream Goal than the original once we understand what we are really looking for from that Dream Goal.

Mark Rhodes